A “Becoming” Journey
Surprise the World #3— Listen
March 31, 2019
Commonwealth Bridge Worship
Habit #3
So far, we have two habits in our arsenal. One is to bless three persons a week. The other is to eat with three persons a week. Both habits center around the idea of serving. These are our small ways of imitating Christ, following his footsteps, as he has said to his disciples,
For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.
Following Jesus means serving others. But the question is how do we continue to serve — how do we continue to find inspiration and motivation to keep on serving? This week, you may have experienced burn out or thought of the question, “How long do I have to keep on doing this?” And sometimes, these acts of serving merely become items in our weekly to-do list, doing it for the sake of crossing them off from our checklist. This is when our love for others become the law for ourselves.
Today’s habit — the third in our series — addresses this concern. Where do we find oil so that our lamps may keep on burning? Where do we find fuel so that we may keep on loving? Where do we find rest so that we may keep on serving?
The third habit we would like to foster together is this.
I will spend at least one period of the week listening for the Spirit’s voice.
Whether it’s for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour, I will block out time to listen to the Spirit’s voice. But what does this mean?
Before we unpack the third habit, let us first go to today’s scripture, which comes from Luke 10:38–42.
Martha & Mary
So, there were two sisters. Martha was the one who welcomed Jesus into her home. And she had many tasks, perhaps doing the many traditional roles expected of women at the time when an important guest came to their house: cooking and preparing the table to serve. While the other sister, Mary, just sat by Jesus’ feet and listened to what he had to say. And I want to emphasize that this wasn’t a role Mary was allowed to take per society’s norms at the time. In that time period, rabbis did not allow women to “sit at their feet,” that is, to be rabbis’ students.[1]
Martha had issues with what Mary was doing. So, she asked Jesus:
“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.”
Martha’s complaint seems reasonable. She was being faithful to her traditional role, a role given to her by society. She was trying to get her stuff done. But her sister Mary was being an eyesore; not only was she being unfaithful to her given role, but she also was doing something against the norm — solely devoting her time and attention to listen to Jesus. And because of this, Martha was bombarded by many tasks — trying to get everything done solely on her own.
All of us have experienced this at some point in our lives. Being the only person — at home, school, work, church, or any other community — carrying the entire workload on one’s shoulder, including a load of others who are slacking. Being the person overworking so that the team can accomplish its assigned goal, while the rest of the team is absent. We’ve all been there at some point. It’s exhausting and frustrating.
To Martha’ frustration, Jesus responded,
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
Now, this is a response that may frustrate a lot of people, and especially for those who relate closely to Martha. What is Jesus saying? How is Martha the bad person here?
Clearly, Jesus is commending Mary’s acts instead of Martha’s. But why? Martha was being faithful in her task of serving the table — as Jesus taught and exemplified. Yet, Jesus is saying that Martha is worried and distracted by many things, while affirming that Mary, who seems to be not contributing at all, has chosen the better part.
We may want to push back against Jesus and ask, “Then who will prepare and serve?” It’d be so satisfying if Jesus called on the men to go prepare the table instead. But the story doesn’t go that far, and simply ends with Jesus’ approval of Mary’s acts over Martha’s.
Person of Interest: Martha
I’ve worked with many church women in my life — and I’ve noticed that they often speak of living in this dichotomy of Mary and Martha. You are either one or the other.
And I’ve met so many unapologetic Marthas — who are unashamed of being the Marthas of their household, or of their church, or of their organization. They are known as the ladies who get things done.
Let’s be honest. Regardless of gender, we live in a world that values Marthas — people who get things done. We live in a world that needs Marthas. I want more Marthas in our church. And I find myself desiring to be more like Martha every day. Marthas are committed. They are reliable. They are the engines of any organization.
Because of Marthas, we get to accomplish many things. Because of Marthas, we get to move forward. Because of Marthas, we get to serve many people.
Maybe, that’s why in today’s scripture, Jesus mainly communicates with Martha. The only dialogue we have is between Jesus and Martha. Perhaps, this means that rather fixating on where it is we stand in this dichotomy of two personalities, Mary and Martha, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of Martha and receive what Jesus has to say to us; for Jesus is not condemning Martha, but desiring for Martha to be freed from the constant distraction and perpetual anxiety of living in and up to traditional expectations and social norms.
Let’s look at Martha’s plea again.
“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.”
She desires the weight of her burden to be lifted up. Her task of preparing the table is no longer out of love, but more out of the law for herself. The task of serving simply has just become a pattern in her life. This is what she’s supposed to do, thus she must complete it. All the “me” talk also signifies that she is feeling alone and neglected.
This is who we are — constantly distracted and perpetually anxious. Our daily rhythm is a series of checking off our to-do list. Even the work we were once so passionate about becomes a lifeless pattern we simply do in motion. Rather than being inspired and focused on one thing, we are always distracted and worried about many things.
Let me use myself as an example. Earlier this year, I was inspired and focused on one thing — which was to create gathering spaces for us to know God, know each other, and know the community of Fairfax. But now? Grace can testify to this. I’m distracted and worried by many things — which are indeed important things — such as securing a worship space, recruiting a worship leader, preparing slideshows, and new meetings with people in the community. I find myself complaining to Jesus as Martha did. I find myself feeling alone and neglected.
Whether it’s relationship, school, work, church, or any other community, this is what we constantly go through. And when this constant distraction and perpetual anxiety becomes unbearable, some of us may press that restart button to reboot ourselves or to rekindle our passion, or some of us may shut down in ways that are reckless or potentially harmful.
All of us are Marthas. And Jesus is offering us a refreshing and encouraging model in Mary. And I’m sorry to break the news, but if you like to do nothing, it doesn’t make you Mary. Mary understands that the source of her passion comes from Jesus; and sometimes, it’s necessary to put everything aside and sit at Jesus’ feet to listen. Because without it, we simply become an empty shell. She represents a model that goes against the grain, that is “unafraid to break the social norm, and unashamed to act different for the purpose of living out its passion.”[2]
A “Becoming” Journey
We are Marthas becoming like Mary. It is about this “becoming” journey.
And this third habit, I will spend at least one period of the week listening for the Spirit’s voice, provides oil, fuel, and rest for our “becoming” journey.
I challenge all of us to emulate Mary’s posture at least once a week. Which means, in the midst of our task-driven, frantic and busy life in Northern Virginia, let us take a moment to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen. Which means, in the midst of “the vicious circle of immediate needs asking for immediate satisfaction,” let us take a moment to reorient ourselves into what is truly important.[3]
Taking such a moment is “to stop and create space to commune with God.”[4] Yes, I’m talking about an act of prayer — but a prayer that focuses solely on us listening, instead of us speaking. It’s an act in silence and solitude — deeply connecting ourselves to the image of God engraved in our heart and seeking to hear the voice of the Spirit therewithin.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes, “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. He will only do harm to himself and to the community.” And Michael Frost explains it like this:[5]
“If you find yourself being unable to be alone, it means you need community. And needing community can lead to you using community to meet your need.”
Perhaps, this is what Martha implied. She needed Mary to meet her need. But for Mary, she was able to make decisions based on insight into her own passion, not on the desire for popularity or the fear of rejection.[6] And this is what we want to become, despite how lofty it may seem: always being connected to our calling, our passion, our inspiration, and our vocation; our tanks always being full with oil; always having that drive and purpose despite the grind of our daily lives; and always having that compassion so that we may continue on serving without being burnt out.
Henri Nouwen writes,[7]
Compassion is born when we discover in the center of our own existence, not only that God is God and humans are human, but also that our neighbor really is our fellow human being.
This “discovering in the center of our own existence” happens through the disciplines of prayer, solitude, and silence. I understand that compared to the first two habits, this third habit of listening in silence and solitude may feel unfamiliar to you. It’s definitely a discipline that requires lots of practice.
So let us go over a few steps together, so that we may have some guidelines on what to do when we practice on our own this week.
- Set aside a designated time. Block it out in your calendar. If possible, commit at least twenty minutes, sitting in stillness and in silence.
- Eliminate distractions. Jesus said, “Go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret.” Silence your phone and turn off your music.
- Start without speaking or thinking. God already knows our situation, our desire, and our concern. So, start by simply enjoying God’s presence; imagine yourself simply sitting at the feet of the Lord, listening. If you’re easily distracted, let your breathing and your heartbeat be your metronome. “Resist no thought; retain no thought; react to no thought.” Just let them be, but you don’t have to engage them; just continue to stay still and be focused.
After a while, our thoughts will start slowing down, and we will get to see what’s in our heart. And with time we’ll learn to discern which thoughts are the voice of the Spirit.
This act goes beyond a meditation practice; it imitates the priority of Jesus’ solitude and silence described everywhere in the Gospels. Jesus often removed himself from his disciples and his ministry to pray to God; oftentimes up in the mountain praying by himself alone. Just as Jesus needed his intimate time with God, we also need that intimate time with God for ourselves. As it is written in Galatians 4:6,
And because you are children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”
So I encourage you to practice this on your own at least once a week — imitating the posture of Mary, listening. For in Christ alone, we find rest. Let us pray.
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